In the Niche of Nonsenses
1996

Always

A pansy’s petal puts on my ghost
A daisy dies in the mirror for
A strange communion with shadows
That won’t graze the hair of hills.
I’m falling out of my winter sleep
I’m walking up to a world in bloom
Yet I’m all flesh in the garden
With clouds in the flower box
And every tiny breath is but a breath
I share with all who’ve gone before
In nature God is as in man…
Always…Lord of the lonely night
Always…Urge of the ebb and flow
Always…Lunge of the lover’s kiss
Posturing to a hiss
Hushed in between our lips.

A plot of sky for a thinker’s cap
A raging river, an overcoat
Where all the whispers in water
Are tuned to a heaven’s howl.
I may not drown in my lover’s arms
Walk lost in rooms of a holy book
But I know earth-flesh is sacred
As well as the soul of man.
And every time I think I’ve thought too much
On this, I fear I surely am
The light and dark of Everyman.
Always…Touching a hand to earth
Always…Vain and inadequate
Always…Cowering at the crest
Shivering in the nest
Suckling a mother’s breast.
Always…Sewing a salty seam
Always…Jewel in the net of dreams
Always…Blind to whatever’s bright
Secretly something like
Stars who are morning, night
Always.

Always…
Always…
Always…

 

Blink

In the realm of flesh
The body lingers.
But to hold the sky between her fingers
Nature squeezes tightly
And the clouds begin to cry
The suffering implies
There is something more for us to witness
Something seen, but not seen
In the distance
What exactly passes
We can not identify
Our lashes long and dry…

Blink
Blink
Blink

Passion suffers more or less
Depending
What in us compels
Artistic rendering
Down a simple staircase
Leading to a fractured mind
The eyes we hide behind…

Blink
Blink
Blink

See, our eyes divide the secret landscape
From up here.
We go so far for what is near
Our old frustrations reappear
Our eyes won’t open in the mirror.

Mercy muscles in between the embers.
Heaven changes hands, and Hell remembers
How to walk with angels
In the still presence of grace
Or spit into its face!

Blink
Blink
Blink

Blink
Blink
Blink

 

Speak

The dumb silence of faith,
The ghost in the trees.
Whose lips still part the night,
And poison the breeze.
When I’m over the hill,
I want something to kill.

The great flood in the mouth,
The booze doesn’t help.
The long crawl down the hall
To be by myself.
And God knows when I pray,
I’ve got nothing to say.

(chorus)
Heart beat out of your sleep
I want you to speak
Oh yeah
Heart beat out of your sleep
I want you to speak
Oh yeah

The long murderous march
From Hell into hope.
The stale stench of success,
The tangle of rope.
At the end of the line,
I just want to unwind.

(repeat chorus)
(solo)

The deep sorrowful sigh,
The language of smoke.
The wrong bandage came off,
I started to choke.
Don’t be frightened my son,
This is my native tongue

(repeat chorus…out)

 

Crash My Car

I’m in the mood for a moonlight drive
Morning’s almost here
Propping her skeleton on the grass
Crying in the mirror.

Painting her face in the old garage
With the motor oil
Letting the ashtray fill up with blood
When her kisses spoil.

We’re always hard on ourselves, my love
This is how I feel
Neither the man, nor the superman
Lives up to his ideal.

Bless the mangled appendages
Kill the sacred cow
Crisscross the arterial nerve
Nothing matters now

(chorus)

Baby you can crash my car
Hell I’m going nowhere (If I get that far)
Ooh, ooh, ooh You can crash my car
It’s been a
Long night
Long night
Long night…

Faith is the orphanage of our age
Nobody’s at the inn
Even the murderers cannot ask
For another plate of skin.

‘Cause at the orgy of algebras
God is not that deep
How many stars in the invisible night
Cannot get to sleep?
(repeat chorus)
( solo)

Love, on the altar of our despair
Know my heart is loose
And in one hand is an olive branch,
And in one hand a noose.

What does it mean to redeem yourself?
Who can be set free?
And don’t it hurt to be all alone
With your dignity?
(repeat chorus…out)

 

Down in the Ivy

How pale the moon tonight
How the light forces your face
Into the caress of clouds
In their dark autumn embrace

The spell of Saint Mary’s yard
And the old monuments there
My boots in their depth of grass
But alas, what do I care
When I fall…

Down in the ivy
Down where the shadows lie
Low where the shadows lie
Down in the ivy
Twisting their veins of vine
All through my skeleton key

I sit on the garden wall
And call out, "God, are you near?"
What difference do voices make
In the deaf drum of my ear?

"Good manners" I tell myself
As I laugh holding my breath.
I mustn’t be left too long
With the dark humors of death
When I fall…

Down in the ivy
Down where the shadows lie
Low where the shadows lie
Down in the ivy
Twisting their veins of vine
All through my skeleton key

My fever’s contorted mouth
Let me cool down for a while.
Do I want to be found out
In the limp wrist of a smile?

As always, the bird descends
In his black robe with a sneer
"Now you mustn’t stand so close
To your demons my dear"
But I fall…

Down in the ivy
Down where the shadows lie
Low where the shadows lie
Down in the ivy
Twisting their veins of vine
All through my skeleton key

 

I Can't Swim

Popping the pearl
Like the ghost of a shipwreck
A necklace of broken bells.

Laughing at me
On the lilt of the sea
Love's white corpse with a grin of shells.
Love's white corpse with a grin of shells.

Moving my hand
Through the air, through the water
How long will God's heaven hold?

How can I float
Without faith, without hope?
Without having my fortune told?
Without having my fortune told?

I can't swim
I can only scream
You're goin' down with me baby
I...I...I...

Goin' down with me baby
I...I...I...

Let us fillet
To the bones of my collar
And pardon these priestly clothes.

Under the skin,
On the scar of the water,
Our love letters de-compose.
Where our love letters de-compose.

I can't swim
I can only scream
You're goin' down with me baby
I...I...I...

Goin' down with me baby
I...I...I...

I can't sleep
I can only dream
You've given up on me baby
I...I...I...

Given up on me baby
I...I...I...

Popping the pearl
Like the ghost of a shipwreck
To sink in the salty blue.
How can I cope at the end of my rope
Without something to hold on to?

I can't swim
I can only scream
You're goin' down with me baby
I...I...I...

Goin' down with me baby
I...I...I...

I can't sleep
I can only dream
You've given up on me baby
I...I...I...

Given up on me baby
I...I...I...

You've given up on me baby
I...I...I...

You've given up on me baby
I...I...I...

You've given up on me baby
I...I...I...

 

Hear

And so that night may drain
The dark blood of the earth…
I’ll bore a hole in my harebrain
For what it’s worth.
I’ll leave you linger
With my cadences askew.

The sour apple seed
Will bare the sort of fruit
That won’t distinguish its runt flower
From its’ root.
You still hear voices
That no serum can subdue…

But you don’t hear me
You don’t hear me. Do you?

The severed handshake
With our fingers intertwined.
The broken heart I guess
Has only changed its mind.
I want to cry out loud,
But what good would it do?

‘Cause you don’t hear me
You don’t hear me. Do you?

The breast of heaven,
And the thorny branch hawthorn.
Where faith is always
Less resplendent than forlorn.
The hand it offered
It as easily withdrew.

Your eyes pry open
Where the spiders disappear.
I pull your hair back,
And I whisper in your ear,
"My love I promise
I will always be untrue."

But you don’t hear me
You don’t hear me. Do you?

 

Silent Treatment

In April’s rocking motion
You pinch a cloud, and the milk is warm.
I feel the tear of teeth
In the half approach of a lazy storm.
It’s all around me now,
Don’t sound surprised if I hurt myself
The silent treatment doesn’t help.
The silent treatment doesn’t help.

Forget the dreamy kiss
On the rosy cheek of a morphine cure.
Let all the locusts land
On the broken bones of the furniture.
It’s all around me now,
This gnawing guilt, and I hate myself
The silent treatment doesn’t help.
The silent treatment doesn’t help.
The silent treatment doesn’t help.

On Heaven’s fluffy couch
Our tempters twitch when they’re fast Asleep.
I can’t be bothered with
The annoying drip of my own heartbeat.
It’s all around me now,
Another book falls off the shelf
The silent treatment doesn’t help.
The silent treatment doesn’t help.
The silent treatment doesn’t help.

 

Scratch and Claw

The lover’s knot, the noose is tighter
And nothing much makes sense to me.
The jerky tap-tap-tap typewriter
At every failed epiphany.

I don’t believe in casting shadows,
When I know I can play the part.
I will endear you to my battle,
My discontented counterpart.

Believe me,
Darlin’ I’m in awe
Of life, life
Scratch and claw
Claw…Claw…

When my abrasive heart caresses,
And all the muddy waters wince
The knotted knuckle head confesses,
But I’m all thumbs and fingerprints.
(repeat chorus)

When I sit down to write my music,
The aim is not didactical.
I’ve got a pulse so why not use it?
It’s purely biological.

And sorrow gives the least resistance
When I apply the healing salve.
Though joy is always in the distance,
To want, to want, but not to have
(repeat chorus)

 

Tantric Honeymoon

You are nailed to me, baby
You are nailed to the anguishing limp.
To the heart attack, honey,
To the herbalist knotting her hemp.

In the hours before light or darkness,
When the earth and the sky are alone.
You can stand in the circling substance
Where the flesh separates from the bone.

There are weaknesses, baby.
There are plenty of weaknesses here.
Would you like me to show you?
Would you like to be one of them, dear?

I am dropping my eyes into water.
I am dropping my lungs from the air,
Where the soap and the seaweed go under
In a spiraling well of despair.

(chorus)
Then lets get on with it
Our flesh will flower soon
And essence intercourse -
On our tantric honeymoon.

Metamorphosis, baby.
I am turning us into a lie.
To expose every sorrow
That cannot look itself in the eye.

From the moment the dawn is dissecting
The frontier, the umbilical dream -
In the ditch of our ego-perfecting
We are hardly as whole as we seem.

(repeat chorus)

There are centuries empty
To imagine this moment of grace
When the heart is held steady
In a world beyond time, beyond space.

I am cutting the heart with a diamond
And the mind from its quivering fix,
But the soul is obliged to continue
Though it probably doesn’t exist.

(chorus)
Then lets get on with it
Our flesh will flower soon
And essence intercourse -
On our tantric honeymoon.

 

The Bed Song

Good sleep,
Walk across the wax.
Do your lazy dream
In a cult of cul-de-sacs.
With a slippery slide on your voice
Wetted words walk out

Stay green,
Mind the mask of mud.
Greet the grease of grass
Come to shipwreck in your blood.
When you know your soul inside out
But you can’t collide

(chorus)
Do… Do… Do…
Do… Do… Do…
I already made my…
Do… Do… Do…
Do… Do… Do…
I already made my…
Already made my bed

Swim fish,
Tap your walking stick.
Rub your rooted eyes
On a sweet arithmetic.
And then lose your voice in your voice,
Your breath in your breath,
Your hand in hand

(repeat chorus…out)

 

Scar

My mother the world
Is a passion flower.
Sleep purply flesh on the golden seam
A dream is the first realm of God.

I want to be there
When the dream is open.
Look into the heart and the heaving lung
Stung by the stem of a star -

World let me kiss your scar
Ah -
World let me kiss your scar
Ah -
World let me kiss your scar
Ah -

No-mind is sublime
And a soul no-matter.
Why sweeten the smell of your dying breath?
In death you can come as you are -

World let me kiss your scar
Ah -
World let me kiss your scar
Ah -
World let me kiss your scar
Ah -

My mother the world
Is a sleeping temple.
Eyes open and then they pretend to close
A rose wants to light your cigar -

World let me kiss your scar
Ah -
World let me kiss your scar
Ah -
World let me kiss your scar
Ah -

A rose wants to light your cigar.